001. Scottie Says: Respect My Authoritah!

From on high in Clash command,

Scottie rules with net in hand.

Helmet donned, his visage stern,

He points and shouts, “Now wait your turn!”

“Bag those fish, and clean that tank!

Refill the raffle, and mind the rank!

I am the law! The Clash’s might!

Fear my clipboard’s endless bite!”

Vendors quake, the planners freeze,

He waves his net with martial ease.

“Respect my word, obey my tone,

For I decree this hall my throne!”

Yet while he barks, the staff all grin,

They’ve heard this speech ten times again.

“Sure, great emperor,” they sigh, “we see—

Now grab a cart and work with me!”

Still undeterred, he stomps in glee,

A tinpot king of fish decree.

With booming voice and plastic crown:

“All hail Scottie! Kneel down!”

But in the end, we love his reign,

For all his pomp and mild disdain.

He’s Clash’s czar, both fierce and spry,

“Respect my authoritah!” he’ll cry.